my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
