Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
