Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
