Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
