Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
