okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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