I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
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