when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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