1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
