i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
