was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
