I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
