I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
