I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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