Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
