someone threw a dead crab at me
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
