so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
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Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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