I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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