He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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