I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
