One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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