he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
operation have a gay friend backfired
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
