if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm always down for nudity.
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