Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
