As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
