Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
