I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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