Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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