Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
