Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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