apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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