her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
