is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
