Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
