Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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