butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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