can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
pray to the hookup gods
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
