if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
