Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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