happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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