You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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