Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just tell him i said nine months
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.