I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas