Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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