I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.