You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
