the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
