I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
