called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
