Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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