I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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