Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
