i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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