so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
