i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
