If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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