need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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