why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
