This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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