i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
