Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
