I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
