Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
