At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
