? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
