I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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