I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize