Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
